“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.” ― Alice Walker
I’m in an in-between. It’s funny how intricate & compound things look until we have the whole thing in front of us. As life progress, things happen and things change, we also change… until the pieces come all together and we understand the why’s & what’s that stumbled in our way before. It’s everything about growing and adpating to our newer selfs while sheding the old skin. A learning process.
This year it’s been a gradual process of growing, moving on and awareness. This December came with the final pieces of this life-puzzle. But there’s much more in the way. Things that I cannot control, that I don’t even know about yet! It’s like I’m watching life through old blurred glasses. The future remains in uncertainty and I found myself not thinking or being anxious about it, but with serenity & trust. It doesn’t mean that I am afraid (of course I have fears) I’m just figuring out things one step at a time in this circle of life.
One thing I know for sure; big changes are about to occur. Therefore it’s time to select things and pack everything in boxes.